Surely Darwin is correct, as the bunnies have demonstrated the ability to use the Internet. Today was the first time I stepped back on campus since posting the vicious bunny suggestion on Friday. I sat down on the benches on the pyramid by MacLaurin to enjoy the lunch I packed. Right before my eyes, I witnessed the bunnies' transformation.
One bunny, who will now be known as Fred (clearly not
Winston), stalked his prey from underneath a bench. As soon as the unsuspecting victim would walk by on the way to class, Fred would dart out and chase less than a pace behind. After doing this for some 3 minutes, Fred found a more interesting target sitting 15 feet down the bench from me. In an effort to subvert this man's studying, Fred rubbed up against his leg and sniffed his shoes.
It did not take long, however, to lock onto the real target. Hopping over to me, he proceeded to position himself between my feet and stand up. Placing his dirty front paws on my upper leg, Fred stood poised for the jump. Not being deceived by his lavishly cute looks, I stood up to shoo him away -- he would have none of my lunch. After repeated similar attempts and some shoe shooing, he appeared to give up and be content to sit under me. But no, Fred only became more crafty. Realizing that my bench was attached to the side of a pyramid, he proceeded to walk up the slant where it was trivial to access the top of the bench.
During his dart at my lunchbag beside me, I quickly grabbed the bag and stood up. In his cleverness, Fred remained sitting right in my spot. His nose inspected my backpack for food, and he verified that the backpack itself was not tasty in no less than three locations.
In all, I spent 12 minutes defending myself from Fred's aggression and am pleased to declare victory over this battle. He walked in shame back to his original position under the other bench and resumed the taunting of passers by.
Several hours later on my walk home, I passed Fred gathering intelligence as he munched on grass. A mother and her toddler were approaching him, surprised at how close Fred permitted them to be. As my service to humanity, I warned the mother as I walked by and shortly thereafter heard, "Ok, time to say bye bye to the bunny."
Was I afraid? Not for my neck at least -- Fred is black with brown spots, not white with pink eyes. I would appeal to those bunnies with this new internet superpower to not attack Vikes, but instead target
Huskies,
Bears,
Dinos, and
Pronghorns.